Emotional programs and identifications.

Good day, good people,

During this Lenten season we have been giving ourselves to the four cardinal virtues or spiritual elements—Courage, Temperance, Prudence, and Justice. As we place ourselves under the influence of and in partnership with these virtues, we will of course come face to face with that within us which struggle to live them out. Namely our unconscious motivations and manifestations based on established ways we seek to fulfill emotional deficits, and the way we get lost in identification, both of which amount to mechanical reactions.

Thomas Keating explores our search to fulfill emotional deficits in his book Invitation to Love. He talks about how humans become fixated on fulfilling real or perceived deprivations of the normal human desires for survival, safety, security, affection, esteem, power, and control. The relentless pursuit of any or all of these seemingly scarce resources begins to fossilize into an emotional program for happiness that binds us. The search for satisfying the emotional programs for happiness becomes a center of gravity within us that shapes our identifications and is often reinforced by the groups we identify with. The groups we identify with also tend to have a center of gravity that is likely unconsciously driven by these emotional programs for happiness as well. When different groups are competing for the same perceived deficit, seem to be pursuing agendas which are at odds, and or whose identifications begin to clash, it is easy to begin to resent one another and even begin to turn the ‘other’ into an enemy. When ‘our group’ feels the need to protect these agendas and views, they can become polarized and the more threatened we feel, the more separate and fractured we become.

As for identification, we know that according to most of the inner work traditions, it reveals the ways we are not awake to the wider reality of who we are—citizens of the ray of creation. In his Psychological Commentaries of the Teachings of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky, Maurice Nicoll said that we tend to “become identified with everything—virtues, goodness, meritoriousness, charitable actions, talents, cleverness, appearance, position, possessions” as well as “setbacks, negative moods, failures, etc.” In this state, we are identified with the prevailing images of ourselves which is why we are to change our feeling of I from a center of gravity that is our habitual feeling of I, to that of Real I (p.1445). P. D. Ouspensky, says in his book The Fourth Way, “identification practically excludes all other ‘I’s. Even at ordinary moments, if you are relatively not identified, one ‘I’ can be doing something and other ‘I’s can watch and look in the same direction, at least a certain number of them. But in a state of identification they are completely shut out: one small ‘I’ occupies the whole field. This is a characteristic of our being, that one small ‘I’ calls itself ‘I’, meaning the whole thing. That is why I say that we always lie to ourselves and to everybody else when we say ‘I’, because this is not ‘I’ but only a small thing pretending to be the whole” (p.303).

As we have explored, as Real I gains a center of gravity within, we are less at the whim of our small 'I's claiming the whole of ourselves or disturbances from outside influences. Of course spotting identifications is incredibly difficult because as Cynthia Bourgeault has said, it is like trying to see out of our own eyeballs. She says a good way to spot an identification is to notice when we say something along the lines of: “I am a person who. . . fill in the blank.” For example, “I am someone who finishes what I start,” “I am a clean and tidy person,” “I am messy,” “I am forgetful,” etc.

When we are mechanically running our emotional programs for happiness, attached to our needs begin met a certain way in a certain time, and caught up in identifications, our perception is too narrow to see and work at the more subtle level of the Imaginal realm (Kingdom of God) or perceive assistance from the conscious circle of humanity (cloud of witnesses, communion of saints). We are not free. We are not able to see what is really needed in a given moment and we tend to perpetuate the very things we are attempting to change rather than have the inner posture required and/or bear the virtues that could potentially rearrange the playing field. 

By now we all have a taste of what it is like to have a deeper center of gravity rooted in Real I, an awareness of our programs for happiness, and a sense of the experience of identification. This taste can support us in observing our mechanical reactivity—individually and collectively—taking place in the world right now. We know that reacting mechanically often contributes to unhelpful reinforcing loops. As we come to the last week and a half of Lent, let us consider and observe how we are participating in these patterns both individually and collectively. Let us look at where our demands for survival, safety, security, affection, esteem, power, and control are at work in us and the groups we identify with. Let us also look at the resentments we have toward other political parties, states, companies/organizations, countries, etc. 

As we do so, our task will be to…

observe and separate from these attachments and identifications, holding them gently and loosely, seeing them for what they are, and sinking into the gravity of Real I 

become aware of the environment through the first body senses while being conscious of whatever sensations, emotions, and thoughts are on the surface, right alongside recognizing “I am here now” 

notice the emotional attachment, sensation, and thought naming them to yourself so that you know what you are working with

work to access the impartiality present in the deeper sense of “I Am” and the accompanying sensations, emotions, and thoughts that arise from beyond the identification

with gentleness and patience, wait for clarity to come from the Whole, and move forward consciously even if it means you do not have the capacity to live out the bestowing of Courage, Temperance, Prudence, and Justice   

Sometimes it is very difficult to separate from identifications or access impartiality. We may need to come back and work with what has revealed itself at a later time when we have space to explore it on our own, with a safe and trusted friend, or with a guide (therapist, spiritual director, etc).

The goal is not to override our attachments and identifications with what we assume the spiritual elements of Courage, Temperance, Prudence, and Justice are calling us to do. Rather we work with our inner states, listening from more of ourselves until we experience the opening of possibility for greater inner freedom from our automatic reactive attractions/aversions and identifications, until we see an authentic clear way forward. This is ongoing work that we must return to again and again if we want to awaken, be receptive to greater influences, and participate in the flow of the spiritual nutrients where needed.  

With Courage, Temperance, Prudence, and Justice, 

Heather

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Readings from last week's Daily Contemplative Pauses

*All previous readings & reflections can be found here*

Monday, March 31st 

Reading: 

Wend your way through the corridors of time,

not as passengers on a free ride

watching the seasons pass;

Rather, steady mindfulness quickens

the spirit, awakens the soul,

and opens the Inner Gate that leads

to the great Work so needed in these times.

— Nan Merrill, Lumen Christi, Holy Wisdom

Chant: Return again, return again, return to the Land of your [Heart]. Return to who you are, return to what you are, return to where you are born and reborn again (by Shlomo Carlebach, sung by Cantor Azi Schwartz of Park Avenue Synagogue)

Tuesday, April 1st

Reading: “Courage has roots. She sleeps on a futon on the floor and lives close to the ground. Courage looks you straight in the eye. She is not impressed with powertrippers, and she knows first aid. Courage is not afraid to weep, and she is not afraid to pray, even when she is not sure who she is praying to. When Courage walks, it is clear that she has made the journey from loneliness to solitude. The people who told me she is stern were not lying; they just forgot to mention that she is kind.” — J. Ruth Gendler, The Book of Qualities 

Chant: Draw us deeper into courage, draw us deeper into you 

Wednesday, April 2nd 

Reading: “Once we begin to see our lives within our own families as opportunities for spiritual development, the possibility of inner growth is unlimited. Home is no longer just a place to eat and sleep, but a school for our souls and spirits. Each day yields its lesson, and our children and partners become our teachers. We find our rhythm and learn to harmonize. We learn how to cherish and care for one another and how to care for our own souls as well. We learn to dance together, how to lead and when to follow. In so doing, we bring about changes both large and small, for our children, nurtured by rhythm, may ultimately heal and restore the rhythm of the world.” — by Katrina Kenison, Mitten Strings For God

Chant: Attend to the living presence, here and now (by Darlene Franz)

Thursday, April 3rd 

Reading: “The fundamental premise of compassionate listening is that every party to a conflict is suffering, that every act of violence comes from an unhealed wound. And that our job as peacemakers is to hear the grievance of all parties and find ways to tell each side about the humanity and suffering of the other. We learn to listen with our “spiritual ear,” to discern and acknowledge the partial truth in everyone—particularly those with whom we disagree. We learn to stretch our capacity to be present to another's pain.” — Leah Green, "Just Listen" in "Yes!", Winter 2002

Chant: May our hearts be full of grace, our souls fueled by love

Friday, April 4th with Tom

Reading: What Is the Hardest Thing of All?

Be ready to be surprised: it is to love yourself

as you are, not as how you see yourself or hope

to be seen by others. You'll know you're on

 the right path when you find that you love

everyone as much as you love yourself. How

will you know this is true? You'll love them

for who they are, as bearers of God, ignoring

what you might want them to be—or become.

It's as simple as this and as demanding, and

you have a lifetime to practice getting it right.

—Meister Eckhart's Book of Darkness & Light by Jon M. Sweeney and Mark S. Burrows

Chant:  Follow the will of the one, one follow, open your heart and the rest will follow, follow your breath and the rest will follow, relax your mind and the rest will follow (by Alexa Sunshine Rose)

Saturday, April 5th with Heather

Prayer: God of light and God of darkness,God of conscience and God of couragelead us through this timeof spiritual confusion and public uncertainty.Give us the conscience it takesto comprehend what we’re facing,to see what we’re looking atand to say what we seeso that others, hearing us,may also brave the pressure that comeswith being out of public step.Give us the courage we needto confront those thingsthat compromise our consciencesor threaten our integrity.

— Joan Chittister from Prayer for Conscience and Courage

Chant: Come to know the one in the presence before you, and everything hidden, all will be revealed (by Darlene Franz)

Sunday, April 6th with Tom

Reading: “It is often difficult for us to see how, or sometimes even to believe that, God weaves the threads of difficulty, serendipity, challenge, and blessing together in our lives. That is why it is important at times to stop and look with fresh eyes and open hearts at what our Creator has been weaving around, within, and through us. From this new perspective, this vantage point of grace, we begin to discern God's artistry, the extraordinary ways in which unruly, unwanted, and unexpected threads are being woven deftly into a strong, resilient, and beautiful fabric. We see not only how the various threads of our individual lives are woven together, but also how they are woven into the lives of others.” — Jean M. Blomquist, "The Weaving and Wedding of Our Lives"

Chant:  Flow river flow, flow over me, o living water, poured out for free, o living water pour over me (by Bob Hurd)

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